I write because I have a whole world that needs to get out. Interpretations and meaningful plots, a fantasy sequence, a poem or two. I write to put to reality those mind-things which to me feel so solid. I write with people in mind, even when I’m writing fiction.
There are messages in what I write, I remember a classmate in a poetry workshop once said that I have a knack for divulging thoughts that people have but don’t often say aloud. I’d say not so much in a political way, but more emotional.
I received my Bachelors degree in 2014 from Brandeis University (Woo Deis!) in Psychology and Creative Writing with Honors after completing a thesis of 50 poems titled, Tales Of Violent Sunshine. I chose this double major because I felt that the two built on each other. Psychology, beefing up my characters and allowing me to have a steady grasp of the human mind as well as endless inspiration for the infinite permutations of thought. While fiction and poetry provided, in psychology an interesting lens with which to understand complex functions of the brain and personality. My favorite praise from writing teacher (and awesome author) Steven McCauley, was that my work was more psychologically developed than those of my current classmates. Which, of course, was not to say that my story was the best (though it felt that way at the time!), but rather that my characters were very close to being human, to having real complexity and depth that made you feel for them. I was so proud. I hadn’t specifically intended on that being the result, yet that was exactly what I was going for…
I remember the surfacing of this desire when, as a teenybopper, I created my first character, an ‘OC’ (‘original character’ for le n00bs) for a cartoon I’d loved then (and now…and always). Quick Gonzalez is her name. And, oh she’s very much alive. Though she is a long story to explain, I still take great pleasure in the fact that I didn’t just create a character within the time and place of the show for which she was intended, I have her entire life mapped out from her parents’ meeting to her youngest child’s 18th year. Her life is full of triumphs and tragedies. There are events that leave scars on her just like we all have, from childhood, love, loss, and growth. I gave her bumps on the road, but I also gave her great victories. I have yet to write her entire story but it’s all inside of me, like a great oral tale.
I write because inside I harbor not just Quick’s, but many lives and stories. Because my own life is so rich with stories! My writing serves to calm me, to allow all my parts, in character, to become whole.
When I journal I am set free of anger, sadness, strife.
When I write poems I’m free to express my abstract self.
And when I write fiction I form my own little community.
There’s nothing better.